Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I would like to clarify one of my doubts, as i will be getting married soon. Is it possible if one doesnt indulge in sex with his wife on the first night of marriage? Will it be considered a gunaah ? Does it affect the relationship of the couple ? Would like to seek your advice.
Jazaak akkah khair
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Sex on first night marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: Is it possible if one doesnt indulge in sex with his wife on the first night of marriage?
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:
223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.
There is absolutely no obligation upon the believers in Shariah that they must indulge in sexual intercourse with their wives on their first night (or any day or night) in their sacred bond of marriage; the believers are at absolutely liberty in Islam to enjoy conjugal relations with their wife in marriage any which time they so wish and desire.
Your Question: Will it be considered a gunaah ?
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:
Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with one’s wife any place, any time, and any how their heart’s desire.
There is absolutely no obligation, or blame, or sin if the couple united in the sacred bond of marriage intend to abstain from exercising their right to enjoy sexual relations with each other on the first night of their marriage.
Your Question: Does it affect the relationship of the couple ?
The only thing or deed which affects and breaks the sacred bond of marriage in Shariah is the institution of divorce! The abstinence of sexual intercourse on the first (or any other) day or night of their marriage has absolutely no affect on the validity of one’s marriage in the least whatsoever.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,