Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I married a girl to make my family happy. I am not attracted to her and I can`t have sexual relations with her. I want to divorce her but my mother does not want me to. Would it be permissible for me to divorce her under these circumstances?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172 Narrated by Muharib
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’
Respected brother, Islam has recognized that two human beings who at one time in their lives intended and committed to unite in the sacred institution of ‘nikaah’, might not get along for any reason and may wish to go their separate ways…..thus as detestable and disliked such a separation might be in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, separation through the institution of divorce is indeed considered lawful in Islam.
One is well within their rights in Islam to initiate a divorce proceedings if the parties fear that they might not be able to live within the prescribed boundaries of their Lord in their marriage.
Your Question: ….I want to divorce her but my mother does not want me to. Would it be
permissible for me to divorce her under these circumstances?
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda
When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."
Beloved brother, if your mother commands you not to divorce your wife, and if in your honest opinion your wife is striving her utmost to fulfill all her duties towards you in the marriage…..it would only be piety and righteousness on your part to fear Allah and sincerely strive to reconcile any difference which you might have with your wife and thus save your marriage.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,