Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
First of all I do fear allah I am muslim married to a western woman for the past 6 years I have a son from here she it not muslim I married here by the countrys law the one I am living in not the islamic law I intend to marry a muslim girl from my country. i want to Divorce my first wife, and I had this intention for the past 3 years BUT I nevery said to here Divorce any time, but she knows that I am going to do so.
Am I divorced from her even tho I have the intention to divorce her in the near future while I am sleeping with her??? HELP ME PLEASE?
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
We would assume that your current wife, who you have said is a non-muslim, is either a Christian or a Jew; and your saying that you married her ‘by the country’s law’ would mean that you had a proper Islamic Nikaah or marriage with her.
If the above two conditions are not met, the marriage itself would be invalid in the sight of Islamic Law, and thus the divorce laws of Shariah would not apply in an invalid marriage.
Your Question: Am I divorced from her even tho I have the intention to divorce her in the near future while I am sleeping with her?
In Islamic Law or Shariah, having the intention to divorce your wife, does not constitute a legal divorce. For one to legally divorce his wife, he has to proclaim the words verbally to his wife, “I divorce you!”. Once you have said that, you need to wait for a period of the wife’s three monthly cycles; and if during this ‘waiting period’ you and your wife do not reconcile and have any conjugal relations, the divorce is final and legal; and you and your wife become non-mehrams to each other, and must separate.
If you change your mind after this waiting period, you may marry her again by doing the Nikaah or marriage ceremony again, if both of you so wish. This process of divorce and reconciliation can only be done twice. If, you divorce her for a third time, it is irrevocable and you cannot marry her again, unless she, of her own free will, marries someone else, and her new husband divorces her or dies.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,